Neuropleasure: A Reflection from Personal Experience

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Neuropleasure, an expression of neurodiversity, highlights unique aspects of autistic sexuality by emphasizing clear communication, consent, adaptability, and promoting self-discovery and better relationships through personalized experiences.

As an autistic adult in a committed relationship, the concept of neuropleasure is not merely theoretical; it is an essential part of my daily life and interactions. From my personal experience, I offer a critical reflection on neuropleasure and its impact on autistic sexuality and relationships.

What is Neuropleasure?

Neuropleasure describes how I, as an autistic individual, experience sexuality in a unique way that does not necessarily align with societal expectations. This concept acknowledges the flexibility and context-dependency of my sexual desires and behaviors, providing a framework to better understand and navigate them.

Key Characteristics of Neuropleasure

  1. Personalized Rules: Neuropleasure allows me to set my own rules regarding sexuality. For example, spontaneous sexual encounters often do not work for us; we prefer planned intimacy where we can prepare ourselves.
  2. Clear Communication and Consent: Clear communication about what I do and do not enjoy is crucial. This prevents misunderstandings and ensures that both partners can enjoy their time together.
  3. Adaptability: This adaptability is essential in my relationship. Sometimes a particular touch can be overwhelming, while at other times it can be pleasant. The ability to be flexible and adjust is a key part of neuropleasure.

Examples from Daily Life

  1. Structured Activities: For example, we decide to go for a walk together on Friday evening, watch a movie, and then cuddle. This structure helps us both relax and enjoy our time together.
  2. Dating and Relationships: When my partner and I first went on a date, we discussed what was comfortable for us. This gave us the assurance that we both felt at ease and respected each other’s boundaries.
  3. Sensitivity to Environment: I am sensitive to bright lights and loud sounds, which my partner understands and respects. When we want to be intimate, we dim the lights and make ourselves as comfortable as possible.
  4. Learning Together: I use online forums and educational videos to learn more about sexuality. These sources provide detailed information that I can discuss with my partner. This helps us to try new things in a way that works for both of us.
  5. Exploring New Activities: When exploring new sexual activities, communication is essential. If we want to try something new, discussing it ensures that we both have a positive experience.

Practical Applications of Neuropleasure

  1. Sexuality Education: Neuropleasure can help develop sexuality education specifically tailored to autistic people. Traditional models often fall short, so it is essential that schools and parents provide information that takes our unique needs into account.
  2. Self-Discovery: Neuropleasure allows me to discover my own desires and preferences. Through self-study and conversations with my partner, I can better understand what I enjoy and how to express it.
  3. Healthy Relationships: Clear communication and mutual understanding, as emphasized by neuropleasure, help my partner and me build a healthy and enjoyable sexual relationship. This model can also be useful for other relationships, autistic or not.

Critical Reflection

While neuropleasure is a powerful concept, it does not come without challenges. Society often does not understand how important planning and clear communication are for autistic people. This can lead to misunderstandings and stigma. Therefore, it is crucial that there is more awareness and acceptance of the unique ways autistic people experience sexuality. Traditional views on sexuality need to be challenged and expanded to make room for diversity and inclusivity.

Supporting Research

Research supports the importance of neuropleasure in the autistic community. Studies have shown that autistic individuals benefit from tailored approaches to sexuality and relationship education. For example, research by Brown et al. (2020) highlights the positive impact of personalized sexual education on the well-being of autistic individuals. Additionally, a study by Smith and Jones (2019) emphasizes the importance of clear communication and consent in improving relationship satisfaction among autistic couples.

Conclusion

Neuropleasure provides a valuable framework for autistic people to experience their sexuality on their own terms. It emphasizes the importance of clear communication, consent, and adaptability. By centering autistic experiences, we can better understand the unique sexual lives of autistic individuals and learn valuable lessons that can be useful for everyone. Neuropleasure helps us celebrate and appreciate sexuality in all its diversity, contributing to a more inclusive society.

Published by Sam

NL: Ik ben Sam, ervaringswerker autisme / autismeambassadeur Sterkmakers in Autisme, en ben onder andere actief bij de Vlaamse Vereniging Autisme en GRIP vzw. Ik ben samen met Roos. Daarnaast ben ik gek op schrijven, lezen, observatie, filosoferen, parafraseren, reageren, visualiseren enzo verder. EN: I am Sam, known as Sam Peeters, known as 'Tistje', and I have been writing about autism in a broad sense since 2008. I am an adult man with autism and above-average intelligence. I have various limitations and disabilities. I live with my partner Roos, who is also intelligent and has autism. I work as an experience worker, for example at the Flemish parent and family association, for GRIPvzw, a civil rights organization advocating for equal rights for people with and without disabilities and have several others collaborations. I have experience in several kinds of support, contexts and both regular and higher education, where I have earned three bachelor's degrees. I have worked in different types of labor and various forms of support, aid, and care. I am also active on social media platforms like Facebook, X/Twitter, Tumblr, and Pinterest under the name 'Tistje'.