Talking about sex is common, but when we add autism to the mix, finding good information gets harder. Many people say that women with autism find sex difficult. But what about men with autism? It’s not right to think that everyone with autism feels the same way about sex. Everyone is different.
Sharing personal stories about autism and sex can be tricky because I can’t speak for everyone with autism. My experiences and feelings might be different from others. But sharing stories is valuable, especially if we want to understand autism better. We learn from talking to each other.
As a teenager, I was very unsure about sex and how my autism affected it. I worried that not being good at social stuff would make me unappealing. Questions like “Do girls find me attractive?” and “How do I know if she’s interested too?” were on my mind a lot. Meeting someone who liked me back taught me a lot more than just thinking about these questions.
One of the biggest moments for me was my first time having sex. I was 30 and had met a girl on Facebook. We liked each other and got along well. I told her about my autism right away because I thought, “If she doesn’t like that about me, she’s not the right one.” Luckily, she was interested and wanted to understand me better. We talked a lot and made love.
That first night we were together was really nerve-wracking for me. It was all new and I was unsure about a lot of things. But she knew about my worries and didn’t mind. She tried extra hard to make me feel comfortable.
Why am I sharing this story? Because it shows that wanting intimacy is normal, even for people with autism. And now, let’s talk about four important things about autism that I learned from my experiences:
- Feeling unsure about social stuff and being rejected: Many people with autism worry about being seen as unattractive because of their autism. My story shows that being open and honest about autism can lead to acceptance and love.
- Being honest and open: This is key in relationships. Talking about your feelings and what you’re worried about can help build a strong bond.
- Needing a clear plan: Some people with autism find it helpful to know what to expect, especially in new situations.
- Being sensitive to touch and other senses: Touch and other sensations can feel different for people with autism. What feels good to one person might be too much for another.
These points aren’t just for one person’s story; they’re important for everyone trying to help and understand people with autism better. We need to move away from stereotypes and focus on what each person really needs.
By sharing my story, I hope to show the different sides of autism and sexuality. It’s a call for more openness and for everyone to join a conversation that’s welcoming and understanding. Let’s work towards a future where everyone, no matter how their brain works, feels safe and valued in their relationships and sexuality.
The European Autist 