Starting any task unprepared often leads to chaos for me. This chaos manifests as discouraging jumbles of words and thoughts, and sometimes results in binge eating, impulsive book purchases, or losing hours of sleep. However, with adequate preparation, many things become achievable.
Initially, I sought answers by asking countless questions of anyone I thought might help, even those who were dismissive or indifferent. Over time, preparation took the form of creating lists, schemes, and sentences, and filling journals with potential scenarios and scripts, including ways to handle disruptions to my plans.
Discovering mind mapping was transformative; it allowed me to differentiate between main and minor ideas and to devise realistic plans, whether jotted down on paper or noted on a tablet during spare moments.
Being Different
My journey began with the struggle to understand my unique way of thinking and behavior. Initially oblivious to the reasons behind my differences, I explored various survival strategies. I often experienced a dual sense of isolation: one stemming from my physical appearance and another from my communication style, which is shaped by my autistic perception. This duality also influenced how I perceived support and interactions across different environments. The ongoing effort to comprehend and adjust to my differences has always been accompanied by a profound sense of loneliness.
Living with Autism
My daily life is meticulously organized to facilitate smooth functioning, although success is not guaranteed. I continually search for what works best for me, as my autism evolves with my life experiences, necessitating adaptive solutions. Effective strategies one day might prove counterproductive the next. My structured life focuses on four main areas: time management, spatial organization, financial management, and relationships.
Finding a Partner
I met my wife through social media with some assistance from a self-help group. Our ‘close distance relationship’ respects our need for personal space, allowing us to be together while preserving our individuality. Prioritizing a fulfilling life over actively searching for a partner often leads to meeting someone with similar values and objectives. Maintaining a good relationship requires various skills and efforts, such as being attentive to each other and upholding personal space and routines.
Towards a Societal Life
Navigating societal expectations involves continuously adjusting my habits and expectations to conform to social norms while remaining conscious of my autism. This societal path often focuses on individual performance and generalized perceptions of autism. My quest for a balanced life entails making tough decisions and seeking tangible solutions that promote both personal and collective well-being, concentrating on strategies that effectively work for me.
Autistic Happiness
Attaining happiness while living with autism emphasizes the importance of acceptance and practical solutions. Acceptance may seem like a lofty, abstract goal at first, but it involves recognizing one’s strengths and limitations and striving for both personal and community well-being. Practical solutions and a realistic approach to talent development are essential for experiencing positive emotions and improving quality of life.
Finally the struggle never really ends
Living with autism involves a continual struggle with its challenges. Moments of happiness are fleeting and interwoven with societal functioning and survival. My life is about planning for the future while managing the present, recognizing that acceptance — both personal and societal — is an ongoing endeavor. Understanding and adapting to autism is a lifelong task that demands both individual and collective support.
The European Autist 