Eric, One of the readers of my Dutch blog Tistje.com regularly reads on the internet that there are quite a few autistic people. “Or at least that many people either have an autism diagnosis or would be considered autistic according to prevalence statistics. Yet, I only know autistic people from the media or the internet. When I walk on the street, at work, or go to an autism-friendly ‘quiet fair,’ I don’t see anyone I could suspect of being autistic. So, where are all the autistic people?”
Confusing a few things
Like several others who have asked me similar questions, Eric, I think you’re confusing a few things. When you say that you hardly notice any autistic people on the street, you are correct. The opposite would surprise me. Autism is rarely, if ever, visible on someone’s face, especially if you don’t have daily interactions with autistic people and your perception of autism comes from the media.
Sometimes my partner and I will whisper to each other during a walk that a peculiar man asking people to pray for him is probably autistic. Or we’ll wink when a woman gets upset about the contents of her sandwich in a deli. But we are aware that we could be entirely wrong. We are not diagnostically trained and avoid recklessly labeling someone’s behavior with our untrained eyes.
If you saw me on the street, you wouldn’t notice that I am autistic. Especially if I was following my usual route, in a familiar neighborhood, doing what I had planned. Ultimately, I am just a person, with certain traits, including autism, but someone who often blends into the crowd. Sometimes people stare at me, but that’s more likely due to my physical characteristics, my small stature, and my somewhat unusual appearance (according to some).
Not easily recognizable for most people
Autism is not easily recognizable for most people. At least not in me. I wouldn’t tell you either, if you asked. Why would I? If you spoke to me, I would either walk away or be startled and stay silent. I might even signal to a (security) officer to ask you why you are acting strangely by asking if I am autistic.
The autistic people active on social media represent only the tip of the iceberg, and maybe not even that. The reason you might think there are no autistic people on the street or in your world is likely because your image is primarily based on people from the media or the internet. These are relatively low-threshold platforms accessible to almost everyone.
Nevertheless, autistic people live all around us, trust me on that. Some autistic people live and work in more remote and protected environments, just like some non-autistic people prefer living in green areas and working alone in their studios or home offices. Most autistic people, however, you encounter daily, in all places and at all events you attend. They usually try their best to meet expectations.
Even if you think you know autistic people from TV, newspaper articles, or the radio, it’s like thinking you know the cosmos based on a grain of sand between your toes on a summer day at the beach. There are so many other autistic people who either do not reveal themselves as autistic or do not have access to the internet, let alone appear in the media. And I haven’t even mentioned whether and how the people presenting themselves as autistic are indeed autistic, and what experiences they consider autistic and which they don’t.
Media Depictions and Perceptions
The media often portrays autism in a way that is either overly dramatic or overly simplistic. For example, the character Sheldon Cooper from “The Big Bang Theory” is often cited as an autistic-like figure due to his social awkwardness and intense focus on specific interests. However, his character is a caricature that fails to represent the diverse experiences of autistic individuals. Similarly, the film “Rain Man” has contributed to the stereotype that all autistic people have savant skills, which is far from the truth.
Personal Experiences and Anecdotes
What strikes me most about the portrayal of autism in the media, whether narrative or informative, fictional or ‘true to life,’ is that some traits generally associated with autism are often exaggerated without nuance. This often makes the portrayal so caricatural that it becomes either laughable or irritating. As a result, I feel that the creators often miss the mark. When people base their understanding on this, you get reactions like I once received in my class: “Wow, how strange is that. You have autism, and you’re not the weirdest person in our class.” Sometimes, it’s accurate, and I get a relatively realistic portrayal. For instance, I found the series “Marsman,” a show by Mathias Sercu from 2014, and the clay animation film “Mary and Max” from 2009 quite well done. However, this is from my perspective as someone with autism.
Most people seem increasingly fascinated by autism—unfortunately, not consciously or empathetically. This fascination grows because more people learn that they or people around them are autistic, thus expanding the potential audience. The term neurodiversity is also becoming more known, though relatively few people understand what it means. To me, neurodiversity means recognizing that there is not a single line between normality and abnormality, that normality is just one of many brain types, and that no one is purely normal or can be.
As an autistic expert by experience, I advise people not to generalize or project the portrayal of autism in the media, especially in fiction, onto (autistic) people around them. Watching such series often confuses me. You quickly compare that character with yourself and eventually start doubting your diagnosis: do I really have autism because I don’t react like character X or Y? Or conversely: why can’t I have a career in the courtroom or as a surgeon, or appear on that popular TV show? Have I failed completely, even as an autistic person?
Engaging with the Autistic Community
If you want to get to know autistic people better, the best way is to seek information from autism organizations, attend lectures by autistic individuals and their families (parents, partners), or professionals who work with them daily. You might then realize that autistic people do not only live isolated or outside society. It’s quite possible that one of your colleagues or supervisors is autistic, one of your friends or acquaintances, your favorite regular in the pub, or that friendly supermarket employee who always knows where your favorite brand of incontinence products is located.
Talking or working with them, or sharing jokes, does not mean you could be autistic (or that they are not). It means you have plenty of opportunities to get to know autistic people and consider them, even without them indicating they are autistic. Take that chance with both hands and enrich yourself. It is sincerely granted to you.
Diverse Experiences and Perspectives
Recognizing the diversity within the autistic community is crucial for a comprehensive understanding. Autistic individuals have a wide range of abilities, interests, and challenges. Some may require significant support in their daily lives, while others lead independent, successful careers. The experiences of autistic people are as varied as those of any other group, and it’s important to approach each individual with an open mind and without preconceived notions.
By embracing this diversity and seeking to understand the unique perspectives of autistic individuals, we can foster a more inclusive and empathetic society. Engaging with the autistic community through events, readings, and personal interactions can provide valuable insights and help dispel myths perpetuated by media portrayals.
Ultimately, the visibility of autistic people in daily life is less about spotting specific behaviors and more about recognizing and valuing the diverse ways in which people experience the world.
The European Autist 