This weekend, we are in for a big celebration. Not because of the beautiful weather, the closure of almost all village shops, or a particular sense of patriotism.
This weekend, we are in for a big celebration. Not while the sun is shining brightly, pushing temperatures close to 30 degrees, because we aren’t fans of such heat. Nor are we enticed by the idea of being among the few who haven’t traveled to exotic destinations like Bali, Cape Town, or the beautiful city of Semmerzake. Although we have a touch of patriotism, Belgium’s National Day on July 21st isn’t a reason for us to throw a party. Celebrating is not really in our nature; my partner perhaps even less so than me. She insists on celebrating the most important holidays of the year, while I prefer to stick to my daily routine.
However, this weekend, we are making an exception. On July 20th, my wife Rose, as autistic as I am, and me celebrate 16 years together. You might wonder how we plan to mark this occasion. A romantic week in Paris? A boat trip on the Seine, a visit to the Musée d’Orsay or the Louvre, or a dinner in an exclusive restaurant? Perhaps a gift experience of beauty and intimacy, a creative workshop, or just a trip to the city of Antwerp?
None of the above. My wife would be deeply disappointed; she told me so many times : “What about the cat? What about her ongoing creative project? And what if she suddenly feels unwell?” It would also take her weeks to recover from such a surprise, if she even agreed to it in the first place.
My wife loves surprises, but only if she can choose them herself in advance. She knows I struggle to make the right choice, so she regularly sends me wish lists via Amazon, bol.com, or other online stores. She also knows how to make me happy. To be sure, she asks if I approve of her choice beforehand. Usually, I do, but sometimes I honestly say that her idea isn’t for me. I then suggest a few options she can choose from, and it always works out.
Celebrations supposedly come with good food and drinks. However, this doesn’t mean reserving a table at a Michelin-starred restaurant or a seafood or vegetarian restaurant with a sea view. Not only is that unaffordable for us, but we also dislike sitting at the table longer than necessary. We’re both too active for that, my partner especially so. The sensory overload, social expectations, etiquette, and presence of other customers make it unappealing. It’s rare for us to stop at a terrace during a walk. We prefer to quietly enjoy our brought-along chilled drinks and snacks. It’s not that we’re stingy or culturally uncultivated; we just don’t associate it with festivity.
Yet, we make exceptions twice a year. These moments are the pillars of our celebrations. Every year, my partner wants to visit a zoo or botanical garden, where, for once, we don’t bring our own lunch but join the hot buffet. The other moment is our annual visit to her favorite restaurant, McDonald’s, where we indulge in a Large Big Mac. For one time, and out of love for Rose, I set aside my reservations about fast food. It would be harder though if she were a fan of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Tibetan cuisine.
So, this weekend, we celebrate our 16 years together in our own way. No Paris, no luxury restaurants, just enjoying the things that make us happy. For us, that’s the real celebration.
The European Autist 