Autistic living means navigating daily challenges and it requires resilience, clear communication, and embracing both personal boundaries and unique strengths.
Living with autism is a true adventure. Some of my days are full of triumphs, others are full of challenges that may not be immediately obvious to the people around me.
The way people see autism is often shaped by stereotypes
While we’ve come a long way as a society in terms of understanding and inclusion, there’s still a lot to be learned about the everyday realities of life on the spectrum. I’ve learned to navigate the obstacles, embrace the misunderstandings, and, most importantly, recognize the unique strengths that come with living with autism.
For starters, the way people see autism is often shaped by stereotypes. The media doesn’t always help us.
Autism is frequently portrayed through extremes:
- The “Genius” or “Savant” — Media often highlight characters with extraordinary talents, such as advanced mathematical or artistic abilities, which only a small portion of autistic individuals possess.
- The “Socially Awkward Outcast” — Autistic individuals are frequently shown as completely incapable of social interaction, often isolated or alienated, reinforcing the stereotype that they cannot form relationships.
- The “Emotionless” or “Lacking Empathy” — Some portrayals wrongly suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling or showing empathy, when in reality, they may express emotions differently.
- The “Helpless Child” — Media sometimes depict autistic individuals, especially children, as completely dependent on others for care, focusing on their struggles rather than their potential for independence. and last but not least
- The “Inspiration” or “Tragic Hero” — Autistic individuals are sometimes depicted as overcoming insurmountable odds, turning them into symbols of inspiration or tragedy, rather than showing their lives in a balanced, nuanced way
But in reality, autism is far more nuanced. It doesn’t fit into a neat box, and neither do I. Everyone on the spectrum has a different experience, their own set of challenges and strengths. What works for one person might be completely different for another.
A lot of misconceptions about autism are alive and kicking
There are still a lot of misconceptions about autism.
One of the biggest is the idea that “everyone is a little autistic.” No, that’s not true. Autism is a neurological difference, not just a personality quirk. While some people might prefer routines or find social situations tricky, that doesn’t mean they’re on the spectrum.
Another myth is that people with autism are naturally creative or “think outside the box.” While many of us do have unique ways of seeing the world, not every autistic person fits that mold. It’s important to see me as a whole person, not just through the lens of my diagnosis.
And then there’s the myth that people with autism can’t feel empathy or, on the other extreme, feel everything and everyone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this, and it couldn’t be further from the truth. People with autism can absolutely feel empathy — it just might look different. I might not always express it in the typical way, but I care deeply. It’s just that the way I show it, or how I process emotions, might not match what’s expected.
One of the most frustrating misconceptions is the idea that autism is always “obvious.” People think they can spot it based on how someone acts or behaves, but autism isn’t always visible. Just because someone isn’t outwardly “different” doesn’t mean they aren’t on the spectrum. Living with autism often means dealing with challenges that go unnoticed, making it even more difficult when people assume everything is fine simply because I don’t “look” autistic.
Living with autism requires extra effort, and sometimes gives extra joy
On a day-to-day basis, living with autism requires extra effort but sometimes gives extra joy. The joy arises from the fascination for details, unexpected gains and people who are truly trying to solve things without forcing me.
On the other hand, things that seem simple to others — like going to the grocery store or attending a social event — can take a lot of mental and emotional energy. For me, sensory overload is a real challenge. Places like busy shopping centers, with their bright lights, loud noises, and crowds, can be overwhelming. I’ve had to learn to navigate these spaces in a way that works for me. Sometimes that means finding quiet corners or shopping at odd hours when it’s less chaotic.
Unexpected physical contact can throw me off
Even something as innocent as unexpected physical contact can throw me off. It’s not that I don’t appreciate connection, but boundaries are important, and unplanned interactions can be uncomfortable. Clear communication is essential. I need to be able to express my needs and have those boundaries respected, whether it’s in a social setting or a professional environment. When that doesn’t happen, it leads to frustration.
Activities that most people wouldn’t think twice about can take a lot of energy for someone like me. For example, planning a trip to the store involves more than just grabbing a shopping list. I need to consider the route, what time of day will be less crowded, and mentally prepare for interactions with staff or other shoppers. Public transportation is another story. There’s the anxiety of planning the journey, anticipating delays, and navigating interactions with strangers. Sometimes it feels like I’m constantly calculating my next move just to get through the day.
At home, even simple chores can sometimes feel overwhelming. Whether it’s due to sensory sensitivities or just the sheer effort of organizing tasks, I have to pace myself. Sometimes that means breaking things down into smaller steps or asking for help. But even asking for help requires energy — coordinating and explaining what I need isn’t always as straightforward as it seems.
I want to be seen for who I am — beyond my autism. I have talents, passions, and limitations like anyone else
Social situations can be particularly tricky for me. A family gathering, for instance, might seem like a fun, casual event, but for me, it takes planning. I need to prepare mentally for the conversations, find a quiet place to retreat if things get too overwhelming, and maybe even set boundaries around how long I’ll stay. It’s about finding balance between meeting social expectations and taking care of my own well-being.
When it comes to communication, clarity is key. I appreciate it when people are direct and avoid metaphors or figurative language that can be confusing. If I’m honest, I’m not a fan of debating just for the sake of it. I’d rather people acknowledge my perspective rather than trying to convince me they’re right. It’s also crucial to only promise what can be delivered — consistency and reliability go a long way in building trust.
Ultimately, I want to be seen for who I am — beyond my autism. I have talents, passions, and limitations like anyone else. But living with autism means embracing my boundaries while also celebrating my strengths.
Living with autism requires resilience. It means being adaptable and patient, not just with the world but with myself. I’ve learned that inclusion isn’t just about giving everyone the same opportunities — it’s about recognizing that we all have different needs and celebrating those differences. By raising awareness and encouraging understanding, we can make the world a little more accessible for everyone, allowing each person to thrive in their own way.
The European Autist 